Sometime last week Sooky said "I gtg makan la.. Toodles!" For some weirdly apparent reason in this case would seem like sexual fustration, I thought she said doodles.

doodles = penises (in Australia at least)

I thought, wow, Sooky sure has a weird way of bidding goodbye but if thats her style, okayy I guess, I shall with all the sexual fustration and grace in me accept it. So I was about to retort back, thanks Sooky, I know that sex is not high on my to do list atm u don't have to throw it in my face and mock me! :P She was offline so I thought, nvm... I'll tell her next time. Obviously, knowing me, next time never comes ;)

Last night, only did I realize, I've got a sex deprived mind. Its TOODLES not DOODLES! :D

toodles = sooky odd way of saying goodbye..



ps: can someone pls tell me how do u say penis in chinese? I believe of all my 25 yrs of studying, noone has ever taught me this word!

` and i love you more everyday || rachel alystine

This post is going to seem weird.. I'll assure everyone, everything is fine. I just need an outlet :D Sooky, the master of implier, I am only her disciple. As much as I'd like to encrypt this msg, not that its going to matter to whom of relevance (coz he's not going to read it) I'm do not harness the skills of doing so. :(

Rachel (as in me) says ->

If proximity is a key, I'd be grabbing the key, running to the door yelling "freedom!" :)

Somedays I wake up to the happy tunes of the wiggles and convince myself, I've made the right choice, I won't regret.

Sometimes, like tonight in particular, I look at the world in despair and think, maybe, I'm missing out.

I believe like my windging companion who is in bed now said... doesn't matter what he said coz I can't remember :S.. something along the lines that I'm a nice girl but instead I end up with someone.....

who I need to be someone I'm not
who cannot appreciate
who is no longer attracted
who doesn't love
who I am a best friend
who I am not responsible enough
who prettiness is not my attribute
who jealousy holds us back
who constantly sooks about me sooking
who rather sexual fustration get the better off

The irony of life they say...

When o when can I claim this freedom I desire?
When I meet someone who truely believes, I am beautiful, I am nice enough, who cares for me more than his hand, maybe this is nothing but a dream....

Many chances I've missed, how many more do I have to turn my back upon? How many more will come up to me and tell me I'm beautiful, believe in urself, you're gorgeous, you're an 8 (oh trust me I look in the mirror and all I see is doubt) and say thanks but look elsewhere (I haven't but well, if they aren't not my fault ;))

Should I wake up tmr and yell, FREEDOM and be rid of my terminal illness?
Should I wake up tmr, return to my sexually fustrating boring life and convince myself I've made the right choice?
Only I know....
I wish, Freedom was an option and I didn't have to pay the price for making a choice, but we all know, reality is harsh, a far cry from what we want.... Its a right choice I won't regret.



PS: Ant woke up one night yelling out a string of girls names and asked me if I was alright, in his sleep as usual. Would of been the sexual fustration acting up, well, he's got his hand and porn for now, I guess, I'll go find my own happy little world (man dates I'd say ;)) for a week.. :D

` and i love you more everyday || rachel alystine

Well, time flies. To all the avid readers out there sorry I haven't been bloggin coz my life isn't all that exciting. Okayy Buttons is a healthy 17 weeks now. :D I'm going to find out the gender of Buttons on the 5th of May so till then stop asking me what gender! :P

Ant suffers from a weird syndrome when sleeping! He'd wake up in the middle of the night and run about or jump up from bed and start doing weird stuff like look for clothes or something. I think its hilarious. Coz I'd ask him the next day if he remembers what he was doing and he didn't! Sometimes he does. Once he jumped up and turned on the light coz there was a big spider on the ceiling! Last night he jumped up and shook me awake and asked if I was alright and mumbled something about choking and get out. :S Its really funny, so I think anyways. I'd always have to tell him to go back to sleep baby, then he'd blurly wonder wtf am I doing and go back to bed. The funniest would be at Shauns when I woke up to go to the toilet then came back to bed in the lounge and he was running about in his jocks. I was sooo scared Shaun would wake up so I had to chase him around the house trying to get him to settle down n wake up. He finally woke up and realized in the bathroom that he was running about in his jocks and blushed like a little kid! <3 I asked him if he knew what he was up too and he said yea he did he was trying to put out a fire alarm (apparently the toilet flush sounded like a fire alarm!). God till today I still laugh at the image of him doing stupid shit like that! I'm sure I'm the only one laughing about this but meh, its funny to me! :D

Okayy thats all I have to blog about. Might be going to Ballerat for Anzac day. :D Would be fun to see Kyle again. Looking forward to that and Ocean Grove for Robbies birthday on the 9th May. :) We'll be going to triple J concert in Sale on the 30th May too! :) hehehe...

Thats all folks :)

` and i love you more everyday || rachel alystine

Proud mother of Sophia Rory Ziyi Begbie

Sometime last week Sooky said "I gtg makan la.. Toodles!" For some weirdly apparent reason in this case would seem like sexual fustration, I thought she said doodles.

doodles = penises (in Australia at least)

I thought, wow, Sooky sure has a weird way of bidding goodbye but if thats her style, okayy I guess, I shall with all the sexual fustration and grace in me accept it. So I was about to retort back, thanks Sooky, I know that sex is not high on my to do list atm u don't have to throw it in my face and mock me! :P She was offline so I thought, nvm... I'll tell her next time. Obviously, knowing me, next time never comes ;)

Last night, only did I realize, I've got a sex deprived mind. Its TOODLES not DOODLES! :D

toodles = sooky odd way of saying goodbye..



ps: can someone pls tell me how do u say penis in chinese? I believe of all my 25 yrs of studying, noone has ever taught me this word!

` and i love you more everyday || rachel alystine

This post is going to seem weird.. I'll assure everyone, everything is fine. I just need an outlet :D Sooky, the master of implier, I am only her disciple. As much as I'd like to encrypt this msg, not that its going to matter to whom of relevance (coz he's not going to read it) I'm do not harness the skills of doing so. :(

Rachel (as in me) says ->

If proximity is a key, I'd be grabbing the key, running to the door yelling "freedom!" :)

Somedays I wake up to the happy tunes of the wiggles and convince myself, I've made the right choice, I won't regret.

Sometimes, like tonight in particular, I look at the world in despair and think, maybe, I'm missing out.

I believe like my windging companion who is in bed now said... doesn't matter what he said coz I can't remember :S.. something along the lines that I'm a nice girl but instead I end up with someone.....

who I need to be someone I'm not
who cannot appreciate
who is no longer attracted
who doesn't love
who I am a best friend
who I am not responsible enough
who prettiness is not my attribute
who jealousy holds us back
who constantly sooks about me sooking
who rather sexual fustration get the better off

The irony of life they say...

When o when can I claim this freedom I desire?
When I meet someone who truely believes, I am beautiful, I am nice enough, who cares for me more than his hand, maybe this is nothing but a dream....

Many chances I've missed, how many more do I have to turn my back upon? How many more will come up to me and tell me I'm beautiful, believe in urself, you're gorgeous, you're an 8 (oh trust me I look in the mirror and all I see is doubt) and say thanks but look elsewhere (I haven't but well, if they aren't not my fault ;))

Should I wake up tmr and yell, FREEDOM and be rid of my terminal illness?
Should I wake up tmr, return to my sexually fustrating boring life and convince myself I've made the right choice?
Only I know....
I wish, Freedom was an option and I didn't have to pay the price for making a choice, but we all know, reality is harsh, a far cry from what we want.... Its a right choice I won't regret.



PS: Ant woke up one night yelling out a string of girls names and asked me if I was alright, in his sleep as usual. Would of been the sexual fustration acting up, well, he's got his hand and porn for now, I guess, I'll go find my own happy little world (man dates I'd say ;)) for a week.. :D

` and i love you more everyday || rachel alystine

Well, time flies. To all the avid readers out there sorry I haven't been bloggin coz my life isn't all that exciting. Okayy Buttons is a healthy 17 weeks now. :D I'm going to find out the gender of Buttons on the 5th of May so till then stop asking me what gender! :P

Ant suffers from a weird syndrome when sleeping! He'd wake up in the middle of the night and run about or jump up from bed and start doing weird stuff like look for clothes or something. I think its hilarious. Coz I'd ask him the next day if he remembers what he was doing and he didn't! Sometimes he does. Once he jumped up and turned on the light coz there was a big spider on the ceiling! Last night he jumped up and shook me awake and asked if I was alright and mumbled something about choking and get out. :S Its really funny, so I think anyways. I'd always have to tell him to go back to sleep baby, then he'd blurly wonder wtf am I doing and go back to bed. The funniest would be at Shauns when I woke up to go to the toilet then came back to bed in the lounge and he was running about in his jocks. I was sooo scared Shaun would wake up so I had to chase him around the house trying to get him to settle down n wake up. He finally woke up and realized in the bathroom that he was running about in his jocks and blushed like a little kid! <3 I asked him if he knew what he was up too and he said yea he did he was trying to put out a fire alarm (apparently the toilet flush sounded like a fire alarm!). God till today I still laugh at the image of him doing stupid shit like that! I'm sure I'm the only one laughing about this but meh, its funny to me! :D

Okayy thats all I have to blog about. Might be going to Ballerat for Anzac day. :D Would be fun to see Kyle again. Looking forward to that and Ocean Grove for Robbies birthday on the 9th May. :) We'll be going to triple J concert in Sale on the 30th May too! :) hehehe...

Thats all folks :)

` and i love you more everyday || rachel alystine

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